thefirstcaro: (garfield loves doctor who night)
It's funny how this weekend turned out because I ended up meeting a few friends I hadn't seen in a while. On Friday afternoon, I had lunch with a very good friend of mine and her year old son, who is a complete cutie. He's just learnt to walk so he's into everything but we kept him amused between us and when he caught sight of my pendant, well he was just mesmerised. He might be a young Artful Dodger, the way he wanted to grab it, I'm just not sure!
Friday evening, my mother and myself went out to dinner and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. Then on Saturday, a friend I'd been in college with and whom I keep in touch with mostly via email and phone calls these days, came down from Dublin and we met another college friend and went to the movies and had lunch afterwards. We went to see Twilight because even though we'd all seen it seperately, we thought we'd relive our old college days when we'd mitch from classes and head to the flicks. We snarked on it all through lunch and agreed to repeat the experience next year for New Moon. The morning screening was busier than I'd thought it would be. We had some German girls, students on a year abroad we reckoned, behind us and they reacted to everything that happened.  The reaction Mike and Jessica got made me wonder if they'd expire as soon as Edward and the Cullens appeared but no, their biggest squeeing was reserved for Peter Facinelli and the Cullen house! Architecture fans, obviously.
Then today, I met another friend whose third child is due next month. She's been a great friend to me over the years and not just when I was sick. Last year just after the surgery, when I texted her that my mother had to buy me a big flowing nightdress to fit over the bandages, she bought me one and because she couldn't get into me, she sent her husband in with it. She was so kind. So it was extra nice today because she'd left the other two children with her husband and we had a great chat. Not that I mind meeting her with her kids, they're very good and I'm extremely fond of them, but to be able to talk to her without both of us keeping one eye on them or having her three year old son come over to me mid-sentence to tell me that he's going to drive his invisible car and would I fill it up with petrol was nice. Though I do get a big kick out of it when he does do things like that!

The frost is gone and we're back to wind and rain. I nearly slipped on the sloped flagstones in the garden and trying to regain my balance lurched forward and started slipping again. It took banging into the large ceramic flower pot to stop me and my knees took the brunt of it. Ow. It was either that or fall onto the dogs and I made my choice. 

My grandmother is in bad from and although she is in bed, she is not attempting to sleep. It will not be a good night.

The Golden Globes are on Sky Movies live right now but I'm recording them because I have a brownie planning meeting tomorrow morning and I need to be up and organised. Which is why it's gone midnight and I'm still on my laptop. When will I learn??!!!!!
thefirstcaro: (lois & clark)
So like I said, I had my surgery on January 10th 2008.

What they did... )

How I live now... )

A stoma, whethere it's an illeostomy like I have, or a colostomy (where is when you still have some of your large intestine), is not the end of the world. It's not a bad thing. I know, you're might be thinking I've only had mine a year, it's a bit early to be telling other people how to feel. And I would never deny anyone their feelings about it because it is a big deal and does take some adjusting. I suppose in my case, it helps that it wasn't an emergency thing. I had time to think about it and realise that this was the only way I could ever get any semblance of a life back. I suppose the biggest thing it's given back to me are oppertunities and hope. It doesn't define me. I have a stoma. It doesn't have me. The scar on my stomach and the beige coloured bag to the right of it are actually things I'm proud of and I don't mind looking at them because I think they just make me a bit more interesting. Sure, some people might be put off by them but that's their problem. It'll make things interesting in any future relationships, and I have no problem in explaining them, but if any guy feels it's too much to handle, then fine. Go away. Because as upsetting as that kind of rejection is, the bigger picture says that I've been through too much to settle for that kind of nonsense from someone who wasn't around for the main event and would be benefiting from my awesomeness since the cure!

Like I said, the point of these posts isn't to be all TMI, but to show just because something isn't always talked about, that doesn't mean it can't be a positive thing. Information is power, after all. And maybe these posts will go out there into the ether and have a knock on effect and do some good. I don't know. But I do know that I got the chance at life that I prayed for on some really bad days and nights and I want to make it count. I want to make something good out of what happened to me. Because that way, it's my bitch and not the other way around.
The thing about Crohns is that it's a chronic illness and can affect anywhere in the digestive system. So it might come back in another place. I can't control that and I'm certainly not going to sit at home fretting over it. I don't have the time anyway because I have things to do. And it's a really brilliant feeling.


thefirstcaro: (little women laurie jo proposal)
Today is January 10 2009. On January 10th 2008, I had my panproctocolectomy and I got my life back. It's hard to believe that a year has passed since that surgery because I've managed to get back so much of what I had lost in the previous three and a half years. I'm going to post about this because without seeming like I'm tooting my own horn here, I'm proud that I came through those years of hell with my sense of humour intact and my sense of self. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let it break me, that I'd somehow keep my spirit alive so that when I did rejoin the world, I'd have a better chance of getting back in step with it. I didn't want to be bitter or broken by it, I wanted to be able to appreciate what I had gotten back. If that sounds like teal deer, I'm sorry so I'm putting the rest of it under a cut that people can just scroll by. But another reason I want to post about crohns and life with a stoma is to maybe show that just because you have sometime different about you, it doesn't mean you don't have something to offer or that you can't have a life and go out there and do what you've always wanted to do. Crohns didn't hold me back until it got very severe which meant I had to have a permanent stoma. But that doesn't mean the end of me, it just means the beginning of a different me who has a different perspective now on things and maybe that's good. It's no harm to see things differently. Though if there had been an easier way to gain this perspective, I would not have minded that at all!

So here's how it was... )

This is a bit long so if anyone cares to read part 2 about life with a stoma, I'll do that in another post.

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thefirstcaro

June 2010

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